The 30th..

This is the day I dreaded.
The day I can only picture your face, your smile, your body, your bed hair, your dreamy eyes, and every detail I can think of in my mind.
The day everything caomes crashing down like a tidal wave I am unfitting to stop - from memories to then and to now.
The day I will just once again be reminded that you are my most beloved.
The day I want to say so many things to you and can’t even find the right words to express them.
The day I want you back even more.
The day I want to see you, touch you, feel you, hear you.
The day I will just tell myself that it’s still you and nothing has changed since the last time I saw you.
You’re a blessing and a curse.
A love and a hate.
A happiness and a pain.
You are bittersweet like coffee.
You are the man. The only one.
I guess what I saw in my dream is real. The love I have for you is paralyzed to the end. 

And yet I know that “if I want love too badly, I will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If I hold it too tightly, I will lose it.”
That’s why I’m letting you go..because I want you to grow..and that one day will come which GOD has promised, you and I will reunite in HIM..